Imagine if you wrote a book of all the negative self-talk, names, berating ways that you ever spoke to yourself. Over all the years of life, I imagine that it would be a pretty big book and that it would be pretty difficult to read back.
Imagine taking that book and reading it, out loud, to the person that you love the most in all of the world – to your parents or siblings, to your partner or children, to your best friend or even your work colleague. Can you imagine their response? Can you see their faces and body language? Can you imagine the hurt and pain they would feel as you read those words at them.
Hard to feel it and imagine it isn’t it. Kind of awkward and uncomfortable.
Here’s the thing. That same pain and level of hurt is felt at your deeper subconscious level BY YOU. Without realising it, those days, weeks and years of negative self-talk creates habits of thoughts, neural pathways of repetitiveness, tracks and tracks and tracks that run so deep that we can find ourselves in a loop.
You see, our brain is pretty literal for the most part. It has the primary focus of survival, with it’s primary function to either THINK or to PROVE. So, when we speak these things to ourselves (THINK) it starts the next step – TO PROVE IT!
Breaking it down – BRAIN THINKS x.y.x – BRAIN LOOKS TO PROVE x.y.z – BRAIN RECEIVES reinforcement that x.y.z is “true” from “proof” and thus the cycle of negativity and self-loathing continues.
BREAKING THE CYCLE BEGINS WITH:
- Challenge the THINK – is there an alternative thought available to us that is more beneficial?
- Challenge the “PROOF” – is it REALLY true? Most of the time it isn’t.
- Challenge the HABIT – awareness of the habitual way in which we think. Like any habit, with time and effort, can be changed.
- Challenge the EXPECTATION – it has taken years of your life to think and act this way. To change that will take longer than practicing it for just a few days or a few weeks. It will take time, effort, consistent effort and commitment over days, weeks, months and years.
- Challenge the COMPASSION – you will slip up. We all do. We are all human. But when we slip, there are hidden messages for us to grow and learn from again. We could slip further into the path of “I knew this wouldn’t work” or “I always fail” or “insert any negative comment” here OR we could accept that we are human and give ourselves love and compassion and go again.
Try It. Let’s #FlipThatShit